POWERLESSNESS
(Take the power back.)
By: Jennifer Ross Sawyer, MA, LPC, NCC, Jennifer Ross Sawyer, Counseling and Consultation
Before gastric bypass surgery, I felt powerless to change my life. I knew that in order to be the person I wished to be, I had to lose weight. But I had tried time and again. In fact, I had lost weight time and again—40 to 60 pounds at a time, only to gain back that weight plus more in very little time.
After my gastric bypass surgery, I was amazed at how the weight came off. As the new me was revealed, I felt power that I had never felt before. I was becoming free of the awful weight, and I felt like the external locus of control which had driven my life was becoming internal, and I could take my place in the world.
After a couple of years, I began to realize that I was gaining weight back. I stayed in an anxious state about it, but I didn’t seem to be able to stop it. I was feeling powerless again. Even when I stopped gaining, I felt panicked. I’d believe that I had gained most of my weight back and I would avoid the scale and grieve…But then I would have the courage to step on the scale again, and I would find that I had settled at a certain number. I stayed at that number for one and a half years. When I thought I had gained, I had not.
But, I couldn’t get myself moving to exercise and eat right. The reason I couldn’t is because I was afraid I would fail. I had fallen into powerlessness again. I did not believe that the tool I was given would work for me. I thought I would have to be shoved around by the universe again.
I am feeling more powerful. I am exercising. I will make the ADVICE of the experts work for me. I can do it.
So can you.
Your comments were extremely helpful to me. It was like looking in a mirror. I feel powerless. I just said to my husband on yesterday that I must gain control of my eating. I have gained so much weight and am almost embarrassed for people to see me. Yes I can do this again, and I will! Thanks for the encouragement.
Please elaborate how you got from point (A) to point (B)… see where I have marked those places below…. I believe this is one of the keys that we are searching for… please don’t hold back… tell us… with respect, Athens
>>> I thought I would have to be shoved around by the universe again. (A)
(B) I am feeling more powerful. I am exercising. I will make the ADVICE of the experts work for me. I can do it.
So can you.
I had gastric bypass almost 4 years ago.Have the exact same feelings. I’ve gained 30 lbs back and am letting food have the power once again. I’m trying to take the power back. I still exercise 5 days a week but I keep grazing all day. Anyone have any tips?