Here’s My Story
(And I’m sticking to it!)
By: Jennifer Ross Sawyer, MA, LPC, NCC, Jennifer Ross Sawyer, Counseling and Consultation
I had yo-yoed all my conscious life, from the grapefruit diet when I was 12 to the Metracal I drank in college to Weight Watchers at various spells after my children were born to Atkins (loved that butter on that steak—-wished for a biscuit or a banana) to being a vegetarian and walking 4 miles a day for two years….
I had grown weary of the up’s and down’s. Somebody said we should love ourselves as we are. So, I tried. I really tried.
But, I grew weary of wearing black stretch pants with seams sewn down the front with an over blouse, socks, and sandals. I didn’t like the way I felt. I felt embarrassed, less than other women in their cutesy outfits.
So, I made up for it by being funny. And smart. And nice. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t try to excel in. I smiled at everyone. I never complained. I think I hid my feelings well. Who knew that I was hurting inside?
The doctor said, “You are depressed.” I said, “That can’t be! I’m a positive thinker! I’m religious! I have a wonderful husband (at that time, I did not know that he was cheating on me)! “ The doctor said, “OK,” and sent me home. I came back the next week and said, “I’m depressed.” He said, “I know.”
But what I didn’t know is that there was a way out of life-as-I knew-it. I didn’t know that surgery could transform me and give me mobility and self-respect, and hope that was long lost.
Ironically, my sister told me about the surgery. My sister, the skinny one, had met some women who had lost 100 pounds or more by having gastric bypass surgery. Dare I hope to do the same?
I found a surgeon. I wrote my letter, filled out my packet, submitted it, saw the doctor, got approved by insurance, and voila’! Before I knew it, I was on that gurney down to the operating room. I remember thinking, “I could die from this.” And I remember answering myself, “Yes, but I don’t want to live like this.”
And so, my life began again. Before you can say “Do you want fries with that?” I had lost 110 pounds. There was nothing in my closet that fit! I was giddy with myself. To be quite honest, I made some mistakes.
But, as sure as the pendulum swings, my life came back to balance. Now I help others discover the hope that they can wear cutesy outfits and have self respect and, yes, even make a few mistakes along the way.
This is my story. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
“Reprinted from Barbara Thompson’s free e-newsletter featuring helpful information and research material to help patients succeed following weight loss surgery. Subscribe at http://www.wlscenter.com/E-Newsletter.htm ”
