My PB from H E double Hockey Sticks!!
(Trial & Error)
By: Cher Ewing
I was about six months post op and visiting friends. We all sat down for dinner (grilled pork chops, broccoli, and mashed potatoes) I found the smallest pork chop got some broccoli and a little mashed potatoes on my plate and thought on this is going to be so good.
We were just having general chit-chat over dinner and I was not paying attention to my chewing. I guess it was about 3 bites into my meal and I knew I was in trouble. I didn’t have time to excuse myself; I knew I had to leave the table and I had to leave now. I either ate too fast or didn’t chew well enough and bam I could feel the tightness in my chest. I knew I had an elephant on my chest and he wasn’t moving. Earl scooched down and made himself very comfortable, no matter what I did to move him, he wasn’t budging.
I was in the restroom for over an hour; I had all sorts of visions running through my head about how to make this tightness in my chest stop. I thought of the car thief who uses a coat hanger to break in, I thought maybe I could perform surgery on myself and remove the band, the longer the episode lasted the more crazy my thought process became.
My friend came and knocked on the door and said my plate was still on the table (Are you kidding me I have been in here over an hour and the last thing I want to think about is eating again) no I’m good go ahead and remove my plate.
After an hour and half my PB from H E double hockey stick came to an end. My poor friends kept coming and checking on me to make sure I was ok; talk about being embarrassed and humiliated at the same time. I was exhausted by the time the whole experience was over. I came out of the restroom to a standing ovation (yeah really). Of course I was asked if I was still happy with my decision to have the band and I answered with a “You better believe it”.
So if you can learn anything from my experience I would hope it would be one of three things.
A.Don’t eat and carry on a conversation at the same time. B.Don’t experience a PB (Productive Burp_for over an half hour without contacting your surgeon. C.Avoid Elephants named Earl they are not nice elephants.
I have not had a pork chop to this day.
Cher Ewing, CC www.bandedtogether.net
